HIPS DON’T LIE | What Your Body Is Holding Onto - Tension & Erotic Intelligence | 18
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Sure, your tight hips are a mobility problem. Yes, and: They're a holding-on problem. Your hips are one of the body's biggest storage spaces. Tight hips = tight life
Stuck feels. Stuck desire. Stuck power. Stuck creativity. Stuck life. Are you feeling stuck? Your pelvis is literally the seat of life. This is where you can, if you choose to do so, create life. It is the seat of all your creative energy, your productivity, if you will. Unstuck your hips, unstuck your life.
Move your hips for a moment. A sway, a rock, a circle. No need to fix. No need to do it perfect or right. Just noticing. What is happening there right now? You know, your hips are talking. Perhaps you belong to the 90% of the population who stopped listening. Sure, tight hips come from too much sitting, in planes, in meetings, on motorbikes. And what if they're also tight from everything you've been holding? Wild things might happen once you start exploring what is there, once you unleash, unravel. And all of a sudden, or maybe more subtly, you level up.
When was the last time you cried during sex or self pleasure? Have you ever?
THE STORY
I literally just got up to dance to one song to get the creative juices flowing again. When was the last time you danced? You spend a good chunk of your time sitting at a desk, or in meetings, or on planes, am I right? You sit a lot. What good do you think that's gonna do for your life?
For me personally, my hips have been loud lately. I have the privilege of receiving weekly art therapy sessions (check out the photos from my "graduation" and some of my art). It's been a deep dive into the subconscious, expressing through art, letting the body move through creative expression. It's been amazing. And I have a nudge that the high volume of my hips is connected to this excavation. This level of expression beyond the mind. This level of creating without agenda, letting the body create in the moment, express in the moment. I have a feeling that might show up in my hips, through my hips, too. Things are moving.
Once again, there is not a singular incidence or lucidum intervallum where everything falls apart or changes or whatever. They come every now and then. They are continuous. It has happened that I burst into tears during sex or self-pleasure. There are moments when something deep gets touched. It requires a tremendous amount of safety to allow touching what is stored in the hips.
With my lover of almost two years, I can go there. With the man I madly fell in love with last year in February, I went there (the next episode is about this experience). It is beyond a conscious choice, it is my body opening. It is my body feeling safe above anything else. We fuck, and I bawl. We make love, and I cry. This incredible human who's been making my life better since 2024 will also be the first ever guest on my YouTube channel in 2 weeks. It is a conversation you will want to watch. Stay tuned. Or the moments when I touch my own body, when I let my hips circle, thrust and shake, when I make love to myself, and tears start streaming down my cheeks, those moments are true liberation, too. Unlocking the power of my hips.
THE PATTERN
Our hips are the seat of our power to create life. Literally. And figuratively. Your ovaries, your semen is located in between your hips, and so are your creative juices, your productivity. Even if your physical body does not have those, they are still there, energetically. All this sitting, all this stuffing down, keeps you stuck. And if you think this is too woo woo, let's get even more real.
The anatomy: The psoas muscles connect the spine to the legs. It is the primary muscle involved in the body's fight-or-flight response. When men experience stress, anxiety, or suppress difficult emotions, they contract this muscle. Plus add sedentary habits of extended periods of sitting or physical tension in daily routines on top of that and you have the not so secret sauce that cause these muscles to chronically tighten. This lethal cocktail leads with high certainty to physical discomfort and emotional bracing. Besides your regular suspects of neck and shoulders, men store tension in the lower back and hips. Men often carry physical strain from the combination of stress, physical exertion, emotional suppression. The fight-or-flight response is also managed through neck and shoulders, and deeply tied into your capacity and ability to breathe, as we talked about two weeks ago.
Your hips are tight. Yes, it's from sitting and your lifestyle choices. And it's from decades of held emotion. Your pelvis holds what you couldn't say. Over the years, all the desire you suppressed, all the rage you swallowed, all the grief you froze, it got stuck in your hips. You locked it in and down well. The thing is, you also locked away your power, your pleasure, your play, your creativity. That's not just from sitting. Hip tension is life force locked. The pelvis holds what had no words for, the unwelcome rage, inconvenient desire, grief there was no time for. The joy you swallowed. The laughter you held back. The hips become storage units for life held back, for unlived life.
"But I stretch! And go to the physio!", I hear you say. Good job. Sometimes stretching helps, and sometimes it doesn't. It might not be enough, or too much. Your tension might not be muscular. It might be emotional, deep, unpleasant, energetic, eruptive, disruptive. It's life force wanting to move, creation wanting to be birthed. High performers hold infinite amounts of life force stuck in their hips and pelvis (and in their butt hole, as a matter of fact). You are stuck, because you are collected and calm, you never express fully. You are suppressed, inappropriate desire locked away. You never learned how to express anger in a healthy way, so add swallowed rage to the mix. Your tears were always shamed, so you froze them, too. All right into your pelvis. Locked and loaded.
What are you really creating? What are you putting out into the world? It's all deeply connected to your hips and your lower back, where pretty much everybody has trouble and pain. And the heart (we spoke about the heart in an earlier episode). All is connected: pelvis, heart, power, creation. The body is a highly intelligent ecosystem. Beware: once you start unlocking one area, others might follow.